1/16/2011 - Valdivia, Chile: Reverse Vampires

An hour into cruising around Santiago, I´m tired of being lost, so I bust out my GPS (compass) and start heading South. I stop in for some giant empanadas and get some proper directions out of the city. Once I´m on the freeway I start getting a little more enthusiastic about Chile. It´s by far the most developed country in South America, and is nothing but a first world, well organized, and well governed country. Its a long sliver of a place, but it thrives on its vast and greatly managed agriculture. Don´t even think about bringing a banana across the border, you might as well have a fist full of crack. The agriculture is highly regarded and for good reason. Unlike Argentina, they in fact have fruits and vegetables. It was awesome stopping in for a snack at a little stand on the side of the highway. While eating a peach, the shop owner comes over and gives some mystery fruit, which I rather enjoyed. Then when I went to pay, he wouldn´t accept any money. What a country! Beautiful landscape, great wine, stellar empanadas, and free fruit. Sweet!

A rare healthy snack

When it wasn´t raining (which it did a lot) the terrain and camping were fabulous. Crystal blue virgin rivers and somewhat untouched forest (Chileans do love their chainsaws.) It all makes for a really enjoyable drive. The only downside is this one specific type of bug. While I´m off discovering new cultures and landscapes. I also get to discover evil little animals as well. The colihuacho (literally translated to fag) is the worst creature I´ve encountered thus far. They´re about the size of a bumble be, but are like little reverse vampires on the hunt for only human flesh. They don´t care about cow patties or whatever the fuck normal bugs are concerned about. So as the sun was setting one would find me, bite me, or buzz around me waiting to land on me and attack. It was no use trying to shoo it away. Those evil fuckers are persistent. There were only two options: let it bite me or kill it. Obviously, I grab my weapon of choice (a empty two liter bottle), and head into the sun so I can see its shadow then seek and destroy. I look like an idiot, half battering my self, half swinging at nothing. Eventually I manage to give it a good whack and kill it. I´ve never felt so satisfied killing another living thing. By the time I left one campsite, I was up to about ten confirmed kills and maybe half a dozen wounded.

The next few days I spent riding hard through long, cold, and rainy days. I was nearly frozen and soaked to the bone, so I stopped in Valdivia. It was a bit off the Pan-Am, but I needed shelter quick. I was lucky to find a budget room with hot showers and a garage. I stayed a few days because frankly, I was tired of the fucking rain. So in between spats, I ran out and did some touristy things. The best was this awesome little fish market. What made it so special were these humongous lazy sea lions. About six of them have gotten smart enough to realize that there´s always a free meal at the market. So probably by chance they swam fifty miles upriver and found a new home. It was fun watching them fight over fish scraps. And also just stand in awe of their enormous size. They looked the size and shape of a thousand pound football. Other than that, it was a cutesy little quite town at the start of Patagonia.

Lazy mofos

My first taste of the Futaleufú

Damage

I wanted to avoid taking a ferry, so I had to jump back into Argentina for a quick stint. On my way back over to Chile. I met some very nice and very enthusiastic older German guys. They were on a tour through Patagonia on some Yamahas geared more towards dirt. They were fascinated at how far I´ve come on my own. I loved the ego boost so I chatted a while with them. Then one guy, Dan, was really interested in my bike because he wants to start a tour group in the States and buy a dozen. (Nice. Another business option.) We all process our border paperwork and hit the road. They finish early, so they´re a bit ahead of me. I was glad to be back on pavement, so I let the throttle rock. It was a fun twisty, hilly two lane road. Only a few miles in, I hit a nasty spiral right hand turn that seams to be getting sharper and sharper. I give the breaks a good squeeze, and maintain complete control as I drop into a quick hard left. I notice the damage right away. There are two bikes crumpled on the side of the road. Two of the four guys just went down. Hard. I pull over and help the guy whose worse off. He´s badly shaken up, and has already fallen down after standing up. We all help him up, and soon enough he´s got his mind straight. He was wearing all the right safety gear, but still got pretty banged up. He´s going to need a lot of stitches and down time. The other guy was pretty well off. Just some bumps and minor cuts. It was a nice reality check for me because I´ve got way too much experience for that to ever happen to me. (Foreshadowing. Yes, I think so.) As the ambulance comes and I start helping load what´s left of the I bikes. I feel very well put into my place. Easily could have happened to me. Needless to say, I took the rest of that days drive a bit slower. It was only another twenty minutes until I hit my destination of Futaleufú. (Don´t worry, I can´t pronounce it either.) I´m only stopping there to white water raft on (according to my google search) the best river in South America. Tell you all about it later. Ciao!